Disgruntled, Menopausal and Getting Older. PT2

Before I go into the perks, let me warn you of a few things that happen as we age. Skin tags, weird spots and bad surprises with sneezes.

Totally real shit. My feet have spots, my neck has skin tags and allergy season is hell when that 3rd sneeze hits. We go from where’s a tissue to kegels while running in the span of about 30 seconds.

Its allergy season in Florida so sneezes are many. I really should wear running shoes more often! But I am NOT at the Depends stage yet. It’s still mind over matter… for now.

Let me offer a small warning on skin tags. My sweet little dermatologist offered to remove them. Aww, yes please. Get these oddities off of me please and thank you.

Now one would think you’d get a few numbing shots here and there before removal.

NO!

Before I could blink, she came at me with a scalpel and zip, zip snip they were gone, she was done and I sat there in pure shock, not breathing. I swear she had an oddly happy look on at my expression of horror. So, if and when you get these special little skin nuggets, make sure you speak with your dermatologist PRIOR to scalpel pick up.

Just saying.

Tomorrow’s warning will be on menopause themed. Because I mean every woman dreams of swapping their periods for a hot that’s so hot, you breath and melt. Your bra is soaked, your hair is stuck to your face and your beloved family is swearing you’re going to make them hypothermic.

They lie as you melt.

Bobbi Romans

Thanksgiving Contest & Recipe!

In celebration of Thanksgiving and giving thanks, I’m hosting up what hopefully will be a little fun with a nifty prize at the end.

We love food. We love cooking. We are HUMAN…That means not all our loving meals quite come out like we intend. Maybe we ran out of something and tried to wing-it with another ingredient.

Maybe our oven takes a crap on Thanksgiving morning. (True story) Or maybe it’s not even the food, maybe our toilet became old faithful and you didn’t even know one could blow like that!! (Another true story)

Share your favorite Thanksgiving BLOOPER and sometime on the Friday after, I’ll pick a winner.

What’s the prize you ask?

An autographed copy of my sweet coming home, Thanksgiving themed story. The story of realizing you aren’t at the card table anymore and that you and your siblings are now grown.

An American Holiday-Turkey, Cranberry Sauce & Prozac!

 

Amazon

In the story Kristi James shares a family recipe. Great Grandma Obaugh’s Cranberry Salad- Well folks, that was my grandmother Obaugh’s cranberry salad recipe, so while the story is completely fictional, this of all my stories holds the most little truths here and there.

For those who wish the recipe for Thanksgiving… Prepare the night before for best results.

Large Box Cherry Jell-o
One Cup Sugar
One Cup Walnuts or Pecans
One Cup Celery
One Cup Raw Cranberries
One Can of Crushed Pineapple
One Orange

Large box of Cherry Jell-o and one cup of sugar. Add HALF the required boiling water and mix until all is dissolved. Set in refrigerator to HALF set.

While you are waiting.

Chop walnuts or pecans, celery and raw cranberries. Once Jell-o is half-set, add all ingredients, including entire can juice and all of crushed pineapple and grate the entire orange (zest) and then using fingers shred the flesh up into the jell-o.

Mix well and set in refrigerator overnight.

If you try it… PLEASE, PLEASE let me know what you thought. I loved sharing Great Grandma’s recipe and I thought she’d get a kick too!

Happy Thanksgiving
~ Bobbi Romans

Food Fail

This will be one of many of my many epic food fails. But ya know… some of the best recipes come from such “fails.”

Sadly, this time wasn’t one of those, but truly was a “don’t ever do this.”

So I’m tired, worked all day, but promised my wee people meatloaf, mashed potatoes and cheesy green beans. Got home, raced in and got to putting the meatloaf together. I never make the same type because I’m always playing with meatloaf. I mean come on… how cool is meatloaf??!!

Valentines? Meatloaf hearts.

St. Pattys Day? Meatloaf clovers.

Cordon Bleu Meatloaf? But of course!

Pizza Meatloaf… absolutely!!

Last night? None of those. I was just trying to throw together a simple meatloaf as to get the potatoes boiling for the mashed. I went for my bread crumbs. Out. Went for some crackers. Out. Chips? Out of those two. Oatmeal! Nope… out of that too.

(Yes, I know I need to do some serious restocking.)

So what did I try that was so bad? Grits. Don’t judge. I was tired. I was hot, I’m menopausal and just wanted to put a nice meal on the table before I melted away faster than Frosty did in July.

I gotta say, it didn’t change the flavor… but a gritty-like texture in meatloaf? Yeah, no. First bite the whole family asked, “Uhhh, what’d you put in this?”

So what was your last food fail?

This weekend COOK! Play with recipes and don’t fear the occasional, “what the hell was I thinking dishes?”

Have a great weekend,

-Bobbi

 

 

 

 

Win BOOKS & Gain Recipes!

Loads of events happening RIGHT NOW!!

1st be sure and enter the Dark Justice: Vengeance with Sizzle AMAZON Giveaway.

What do you get when you combine Five Bad Guys, Five Heroes with Five Different Authors and Stories?
One wicked, steamy book where being bad — never felt so Justified

Giveaway Link Here:DARK JUSTICE GIVEAWAY

Next is the An American Holiday AMAZON Giveaway!

Ahh, Thanksgiving… complete with ghosts of holidays past. Those being humiliating memories of last year’s revelry gone wild: jail cells, a tattoo and rose left on Kristi James pillow by someone she can’t remember.

Toss in two brothers who, while loving, had needled her with vivid imagery on what might have happened during that fateful rendezvous at the local HoJo’s. Seriously, what’s a girl to do? She’d run like hell from Harpers Ferry back to her apartment and job in Alexandria.
She’s praying this year’s holiday ends a bit more traditional. But between exploding turkey’s, cranberry fights, and the winter storm threatening to lock them all together for

God only knew how long, she’s fairly certain her Norman Rockwell hopes have flown the coop.

Adding another layer to this casserole of disaster, the high school boyfriend—who’d cheated on her two days before prom—returns, claiming to have made a horrid mistake all those years prior.

Amid all this, what has her heart flip-flopping is catching her best friend Simon getting cozy with his latest girlfriend.

Thing is, she isn’t sure why its bothering her so badly.

Sometimes it takes coming home again… to discover how lost we’ve really been.

Giveaway Link Here: An American Holiday Giveaway

THEN join the Holiday Book Bash Extravaganza!!! Over 30 authors have teamed up for a spectacular party which has started NOW. The “official” party dates are Dec 16th, 17th & 18th starting at 4 PM EST to 10 PM EST each day! BUT– BUT the party is in full force NOW with authors sharing their favorite holiday recipes! (and a CONTEST) Each Monday (starting now) UP until the actual dates of the event, will feature NEW contests and fun!

Join Here: Holiday Book Bash Extravaganza

THEN THIS THURSDAY Nov 17th The Authors from Dark Justice: Vengeance with Sizzle gather over at Writerspace for a LIVE author chat about this HOT new release! Yep, there will Giveaways there too!

Writerspace Link:Writerspace Live Chat

 

Here’s to a fun KICK OFF to the Holidays!

Bobbi Romans

Fabulous One-Liners!

 

You know those great one-liners you run across and think…wow, or laugh yourself silly? Maybe its a one liner that prompts tears.

Those wonderful near magical threads we run into that keep us coming back for more.

Well talented author, Allie Ritch came up with the splendid idea to share those golden lines and sent out an all-call. At the below link, check out the best of the best from many of your favorite authors, I even added a few myself.

(Authors Include: Allie Ritch, Allie Quinn, Bobbi Romans, Brynley Bush, Cailin Briste, Cara Bristol, Cynthia Sax, Errin Stevens, Eva Lefoy, Gail Koger, Haley Whitehall, Jeanne St. James, Jessica E. Subject, Jocelyn Dex, K.T. Black, Laurel Richards, Lisa M. Owens, Louisa Kelley, Marianne Rice, Megan Slayer, Pamela Moran, Pippa Jay, Shiloh Saddler, Sotia Lazu, Stephanie Lake, Susanna Eastman, Tami Lund, Tara Quan, TD Hassett, and Wendi Zwaduk.)

Grab your coffee or tea and have some fun this Saturday morning by checking them out.

*Best not to be drinking anything when reading*

Fun One-Liners

Enjoy your weekend!

-Bobbi Romans

P.S. If you comment to this post what my one-liner was there might be a prize!

 

Q & A with Bobbi’s Book Blurbs, Teasers & Tag Lines

For the curious… here’s the breakdown of Bobbi’s Book Blurbs, Teasers & Tag Lines.

Q: Do you just do blurbs?

A-NO. I’ve done ad’s (for author signings, sales, etc) Same price ($25.00) and same rules. Don’t like (not using) NO CHARGE. Heck, I’ve even done personal birthday party invitations where they wanted something unique.

Q: How does it work? What do I need to send?

1. A) Simply send me a brief rundown or your synopsis if done. I actually do (for the one price) several options and several teasers. I call it round one. Many love from the 1st shot. Some, want something more and others ask me to merge several of the options into one. I’ll take your notes/comments from round one and customize to your liking. But… if using (paying) ALL options are yours to use as they were created specifically for YOUR story. Use them for alternative blurbs/teasers, or toss. ALL options/attempts are yours to do with as you see fit.

Q: How does payment work?

25. A) Upon completion (when customer is happy and loves their blurb) I’ll Paypal invoice you for $25.00.

Q: What about a blurb for a book bundle/boxed set I’m putting together? How much would that cost?

A: IF you’re putting a series together and just want the ONE blurb to represent the whole series… SAME PRICE! $25.00. I charge per blurb (with teasers and tags thrown in). So whether your set has 3 stories or 10, since its ONE blurb you want–its ONE charge.

Q: I’m redoing an old series and want fresh blurbs. How much would that cost?

A: Again, $25.00 per blurb, which includes, teasers and tag lines. So, $25.00 per story.

Q: What’s your turn-around time?

A: Usually within a few hours. Obviously if you sent a request late PM, I may not be up or may be on my way to bed. That said… I did have an author contact me once in the middle of working with Createspace and needed a blurb, like THEN. ASAP! I happened to be up and at 11:30 PM worked her blurb and had it back by Midnight.

Q: Anything else I need to know?

A: Please be polite. When working with you, I DO understand life happens, but if you experience a delay in being in contact… take the time for a quick email, “I’ll get back with you on XXX.” Nothing worse than being in the frame of mind for said authors work, then having days go by without word. If you don’t like, it’s okay… as an author too, I understand not everything will be everyone’s cup of tea. Simply let me know, the blurbs didn’t work, but hey, thanks for trying. I’m good with that and you won’t be charged.

What sets me apart? The no charge rule. If you don’t like/use, I’m not charging you. For most of us, we’re still struggling to make a living following our dream of writing. Last thing any of us need is to pay for anything (work related or other) we don’t need. A bad blurb, is NOT needed.

Special request. Like you money is limited… so, for now, I’m strictly working social media and word of mouth. (Thank you to the customers who have recommended me) Please help me spread the word by sharing or just mentioning when you hear someone in need or complaining they hate doing blurbs.- Thanks!

Hope to work with you soon,

Bobbi Romans

Fill Up Those New Ereaders Now 4 Mega Sale!

Yep, you heard that right! Fill up those new ereaders (or old) NOW over at ARe (All Romance Ebooks) MEGA 50% Off Sale!

Even my freshly released BOXED SET, Holiday Love: Six Holidays-Six Tales of Love is 50% Off!!

Hurry on over before the sale ends!

https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-holidaylovesixholiday039ssixtalesoflove-1951139-166.html

Happy New Year 2016!

Bobbi

 

Out NOW! Hansel and Gretel-Twisted

Blurb:

In Fairyville nothing is simple. Not when magic runs as amok as the trolls, fairies and dwarves do. Gretel only wanted to find her brother who’d been traded to the Queen of Hearts. Okay, and maybe find the prince who haunts her dreams.

But first she’s got to outsmart a giant, outmaneuver some horny dwarves and survive the sinister plans of a big bad wolf. She isn’t the only one surfing in uncharted territory as both Prince Albert and her brother Hansel run into their own issues. Namely escaping a BDSM loving Queen and some Jinn’s with evil on their minds.

Toss in a wise-cracking green donkey with an attitude and an not so old lady living in a shoe and its wonder anyone can get anywhere, much less find their true loves. Even when it seems everything comes full circle, Cinderella finds her Beast… truly transformed into one!

Will anything get settled in Fairyville or will the wily wicked continue to cause chaos and prevent any happily ever afters?

Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/pfalom4
ARe: http://tinyurl.com/o5jlmeg
Smashwords: http://tinyurl.com/ptvfs5k

A Thanksgiving Romance with Laughs & Warmth!

Looking for a fun, coming home again, comical Thanksgiving romance? You know…where a turkey may or may not explode and siblings have been forced to cook the holiday meal—for the first time ever?

Blurb:

Ahh, Thanksgiving… complete with ghosts of holidays past. Those being humiliating memories of last year’s revelry gone wild: jail cells, a tattoo and rose left on Kristi James pillow by someone she can’t remember.

Toss in two brothers who, while loving, had needled her with vivid imagery on what might have happened during that fateful rendezvous at the local HoJo’s. Seriously, what’s a girl to do? She’d run like hell from Harpers Ferry back to her apartment and job in Alexandria.

She’s praying this year’s holiday ends a bit more traditional. But between exploding turkey’s, cranberry fights, and the winter storm threatening to lock them all together for God only knew how long, she’s fairly certain her Norman Rockwell hopes have flown the coop.

Adding another layer to this casserole of disaster, the high school boyfriend—who’d cheated on her two days before prom—returns, claiming to have made a horrid mistake all those years prior.

Amid all this, what has her heart flip-flopping is catching her best friend Simon getting cozy with his latest girlfriend.
Thing is, she isn’t sure why its bothering her so badly.

Sometimes it takes coming home again… to discover how lost we’ve really been.

*BONUS: Inside the tale I’ve included Great Grandma’s Cranberry Salad Recipe!*

Right here:

Amazon:http://tinyurl.com/pqg28rh

ARe:https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-anamericanholiday-1923016-177.html

SmashWords:https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/591141

Also available in PRINT!